


ITCHY NAPZ

by paresseux



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-09 00:15:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4326453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paresseux/pseuds/paresseux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Swan Queen Week Summer 2015 / Day One: Bed Sharing</p><p>Regina scrubs ointment furiously into her skin. Emma, with her fair share of foster home bug-infested mattress experiences looked on sympathetically. </p><p>A/N ASSUME YRS AND YRS OF LOVELY BESTFRIENDSHIP</p>
            </blockquote>





	ITCHY NAPZ

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS SERIOUSLY THE SILLIEST THING I'VE EVER WRITTEN PROB A LIL OUTTA CHARACTER JUST HAVIN 2 MUCH FUN ENJOY 
> 
> Your author, Dane

Regina scrubs ointment furiously into her skin. Emma, with her fair share of foster home bug-infested mattress experiences looked on sympathetically. 

“Go gently, you’re gonna look like a raw chicken at the rate you’re going.” Though the warning was fond, Emma sported a delicious smirk at the brunette’s predicament. Regina glared on from her side of the bed. 

“I’m going to sue Aladdin. Of course, street rat turned mattress king? I should’ve foreseen this coming!” Regina punctuated the ends of her sentences with an extra violent stroke on her skin. Little, angry, red blemishes covered every inch of her torso. Regina rolled over in her head how this could’ve happened. Her hygiene regimen was superb; there was no other explanation to this occurrence other than Aladdin was going to regret every single minute of his existence when she was through with him. 

Emma snorted. “Alright y’majesty, before you cut Aladdin into tiny pieces and stuff him in a gravy boat, remember last week when we hiked to that Tangled flower field?”

“How could I forget, you screamed FLOWER GLEAM AND GLOW LET YOUR POWER SHINE for an indeterminable amount of time. It was an atrocious rendition.” 

“Okay, ha ha, whatever, anyways it was the most humid and hot day of the year in Maine and my jeans were cutting off my circulation and your hair was sticking to the nape of neck glistening-"

“Are you going to recount all of the details, Shakespeare, or are you going to get to the point.”

The blonde pouted, feigning distress. “I thought you would appreciate MY FLOWERY POETRY.” Emma nearly fell over herself in uncontrollable laughter at her punnery. God she was good. 

Regina’s temper flared and got the better of her, as she uncharacteristically flung herself on the other co-parent, smearing ointment on Emma’s shoulders and jaw. 

“Aghdsfdsjkbsdjb,” Emma’s response held not the grace and poise of a whole population’s Savior, but the surprise of a dork face sheriff with zero reflex when it comes to her best friend. “YOU TROLL.”

Regina deep belly laughed, no restraint in her mirth, eyes shining with happiness. After her hydrocortisone assault, she laid back on Emma’s bed. Her whole mansion was being de-bugged this afternoon, and she sought safety in the blonde’s bachelorette loft. 

Emma used her worn Arcade Fire t-shirt to wipe at her shiny, medicated face, revealing her annoyingly taut abs underneath. She flung her head at Regina’s chest, using her as a pillow and simultaneously gaining satisfaction at Regina’s pained exclamation. 

“When I imagined you in my bed I didn’t expect it to be like this.”

“I’ve been waiting for that comment since I got here. You’re so predictable Emma I bet you have exactly five shakers of cinnamon in your cupboard.”

“Why are you such a stalker.”

“I’m majestic.”

“You’re a piece of work.”

“Can we take a nap.”

“Ya.”

“Wait. Our son’s with the grandidiots today right?”

“Correctomundo. He’s teaching baby Neal how to play Mario Kart.” 

“How is that conducive to a growing child’s mental growth?” Regina exclaimed vehemently. 

“Problem solving and hand-eye coordination. I’m thinking of calling baby bro Prince instead of Neal,” Emma contemplated, the random change of subject the norm for her though it made Regina’s head spin. “Calling him Neal is extra weird. Stop scratching.”

“Emma I physically cannot it feels as if I fell into a mosquito infested haystack." Regina muttered in distress, continuing with the heavy grazes down any surface of her skin she could reach. 

“Wow how’s that for descriptive poetry.” Emma breathed out while pulling herself up into a sitting position and facing Regina. She decided there and then to have mercy on her. 

“Hold still.”

“…..Emma why are you looking at me like that…”

Emma grins mischievously before beginning to rapidly and randomly slap patches of Regina’s bare skin.

“OW WHAT THE ACTUAL HE- oh, OH. Oh god thats great yeah okay.” Regina relaxed as the consistent and varying slaps to her skin was actually soothing her need to itch, without the worry of scars later on. After a few minutes of this Regina felt like an actual human being for the first time in two days. 

“Thanks, Em.”

“Don’t mention it. This isn’t as cute as when Mark rubbed up all over Callie in Grey’s Anatomy anyway.”

“GOD THAT WAS ADORABLE.”

“RIGHT? CALZONA ALL THE WAY BUT THAT SCENE GAVE ME ALL THE FLUFFY FEELINGS.”

“Would you do that for me?”

“Should I Regina? Because that would mean crossing the border from years of light flirting and comfortable co-parenting to admitting I’m in love with you.” Emma says nonchalantly with a soft smile. 

Regin snorted. 

“You dishonor my intellect if you think I didn’t figure that out years ago. I just enjoyed the dancing we do.” She shrugs and hums in satisfaction while Emma splutters in surprise. “I knew it was going to be us. I wasn’t worried. Now rub me like you’re my doctor baby daddy.”

“I was your delinquent baby mama that sounds way cooler and dangerous and sexy.”

Regina rolls her eyes, turns around in the bed and looks over her shoulder, silently demanding to be spooned. 

“Yes majesty."


End file.
